I believe wholeheartedly in grief. It is a part of life. Although I would not wish it upon anyone, without it many people would not have gained the insight garnered from such traumatic events. I am very glad that Cortney Davis learned that she should not try to make grieving people happy. When you tell someone that it is going to be alright, it does not help in any way and in fact points out to the person grieving that you cannot relate to their situation.
Although I have not lost anyone particularly close to me, I have been to many funerals. When I see others around me crying, I do not go over and try to console them because grieving is natural. If people kept things bottled up all the time, it could lead to anger and emotional problems later on in life. Many people, my grandmother included, tell you not to grieve for them when they are gone. Unfortunately for them, grieving is a form of coping with a great loss. No matter who you are or what your profession is, you should not have to worry what others will say if they see you shed a tear. If you want to bang your fists on the ground and bawl your eyes out, you should fell obliged to do so. For some positions, like president of the United States for example, hopefully you have the sense to do those things in private.
From: http://thisibelieve.org/essay/18108/
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
Assertion Journal
ReplyDeleteI agree with Emily that grieving is a way of coping with a death or trauma. People need a chance to wail and scream and cry, a way to let out all the emotions they are feeling. In America, we mostly do our grieving in private, and try to be controlled while out in the public. Grieving is healthy for everyone, and people need the chance to get their anger and sadness out and move on. If you hold it in yourself, it only festers and causes more pain.
I lost my Uncle in 4 years ago, and then my Grandmother barely a year later. I was still only is 8th and 9th grade, and I did not know how I was supposed to react. Everyone at the funerals knew who I was and they kept telling me all these stories of my Uncle and Grandma. They told me how my Uncle used to talk about my sister and I, and how my Grandma carried a picture of my family with her and took every chance to show it to others. While the stories were sweet, but all I wanted was to be left alone. I would constantly leave and go outside, or just walk down the street. I needed to be alone, and I ended up at a street bench and I just broke down. I was in tears and to be honest it was not pretty. But when I was away from my family I was able to put down my guard and able to mourn the way I needed to. When my Dad came to find me, he just held me not saying anything and promised he would never leave me against his will. That promise and his silent support was what really helped me, and enabled me to go back and face the other mourners.
To this day, I still have bad days when I just can’t deal with the loss, and I break down again. I will see something or someone will say something that reminds me of the people I have lost. When those days some along, I take a walk to be by myself and I just cry. Every time I do, I end up remember how my Uncle would sing me this song, just because it had my name in it, or how my Grandma would tell me all these crazy stories about how my dad and his brothers used to torture each other when they were little. Once I have finished crying I always feel better and more relaxed. Grieving is my way of honoring my deceased relatives and it gives me a connection with them; I always feel like they know I still miss them and love them. Grieving is a way for me to move on, always remembering, but also growing and learnin