R- How to Write a Letter: The Candy Gram

Mary Wells

AP Hislish

Mr. Bruno

October 23, 2009

R- How to Write a Letter: The Candy Gram 

  You may be wondering why I’m dressed like a giant handwritten letter, right? Well that’s because you have a candy gram from Garrison Keillor himself! That’s right, I bet you’re excited. Well, here goes.

You may be shy

And want to cry

If people point you out

If they stop by

To conversate

You want to scream and shout

But you can’t seem to utter

A single little word,

And you become so worried

That you’ll never, ever be heard

Well never fear,

Yes don’t resign!

Write a letter instead,

A letter I say,

And don’t forget to sign!

 

Are you confused

At how to do

This simple, easy task?

While cut it out!

Stop that worry!

Sit down and relax!

 

Don’t be ashamed

If you and him

Haven’t talked in a while

The simple knowledge

Your letter’s for him

And he’s sure to smile!

 

So never fear,

Yes don’t resign!

Write a letter instead,

A letter I say,

Handwritten and dated,

And don’t forget to sign!

 

When composing this masterpiece

Just write anything

Anything at all

Make mistakes,

Describe the seven lakes,

Your fresh baked cakes,

You’re aunt’s teeth fakes,

That turtle of Jake’s

The funeral wakes,

A vampire’s stakes

The garden rakes

The recent earthquakes

Just make mistakes,

Do whatever you desire!

 

So never ever fear,

And don’t resign!

From this little task

Send it out,

The little letter,

And absolutely

Don’t forget

Please don’t forget

Yes don’t forget

 To sign.

Keillor, Garrison. "How to Write A Letter." The Norton Sampler. 6. New York: Norton and Company, 2003. Print.