No Wonder They Call Me a Bitch (R)

Hello, and welcome to Delightful Dinners with Kristen.

Tonight we're going to try a little something new. We'll be experimenting with dog food! Here with us tonight is renowned author, Ann Hodgman (and her dog Shortie). Ms. Hodgman has previously tried this experiment before and guarantees it will not be detrimental to your health.

First on the menu, the Gaines Burger. Now, Ms. Hodgman has oh-so-kindly informed us of the ingredients in these "burgers". She promises there are no meat by-products, only poultry by-products. The texture and taste are even the same thing! Can you say "Hello, Play-Doh"?

Next up, we have the Cycle series. Each cycle is for a different age group. According to Ms. Hodgman, if you are going to eat any one of these cycles, she suggests Cycle 4, for the elderly dogs. It happens to be the most edible, tasting like baked beans. Don't worry the only questionable ingredient would be "dried beef digest", all the rest check out just fine.

Kal Kan has a variety of options for us tonight, but we're only going to test Kal Kan Pedigree with Chunky Chicken and Kal Kan's Pedigree Select Dinners. First up, the Chunky Chicken, if you can even call it chicken, was lovely hunks of purplish meat (the chicken?) which happened to taste like meatloaf? Kan Kal's Pedigree Select Dinners, you know what, we're just going to skip over this one. I think I just saw a vein!

Onto the dry dog food! Now it's getting to the good part!

Gravy Train should be applauded for their truthful advertising. When you mix it with water, it really does make gravy! Although, I'm not sure where the train comes into play. All Purina dog foods are guaranteed to give your dog a nice, shiny coat; because that's just what I want for my dog to gain from dog food, nutrition isn't important or anything.

And last but not least, dessert, dog biscuits. We have with us Milk Bone Flavor Snacks, all seven flavors of them. Now, I'm going to be honest with you, there really is no difference in taste at all.

Oh no, it looks like we're out of time for today! This has been Kristen with Delightful Dinners. Join us next time for while we test out fish foods! Goodnight!

Here you go Shortie, we've got a feast for you. Here, boy!